Friday, November 6, 2009

Life with Meredith

Every so often, I like to blog about a bunch of little things that make life with Meredith so fun, interesting, puzzling, and hilarious. So here are a few tidbits....

* SHAPES *
We have been working on teaching Meredith her shapes. As you know, she knows octagon ("ah-gun"), but there are some others she loves too: diamond, heart, and oval. When she sees these shapes anywhere, in any context, she tells us. There are a few shapes she has yet to mention: square, circle, and triangle. Our daughter is apparently a connoisseur of obscure shapes.

* COLORS *
We did not have much luck for quite a while with colors. Meredith didn't seem to care about it, or maybe just didn't understand the concept. Once she started to understand what we were fishing for, she started to oblige us with a reply when we asked what color something was, but would always just name some random color (she must be thinking "I know they want something from that list"). She has now progressed to the point of non-random replies -- instead, the answer is always "blue"!

* HER NAME *
We know we gave our daughter a killer of name to pronounce, so we felt fine when she answered the question "What's your name" with "ME!". Hey, the first two letters is better than nothing! But over the last month she has moved from Mayith, to Maydith, to something with a slight middle syllable...Mayadith. Very impressive!

* SPECIAL WORDS *
There is a little Canadian flag Meredith likes to play with, and she also notices flags everywhere. Seemingly unrelatedly, she also loves frogs. And she eats with a fork. What these things have in common (flag, frog, fork) is that when a child pronounces g as "k" and doesn't get the subtleties of "l" and "r", and isn't too particular about vowel sounds, they all sounded like the same special word. I'm happy to say that the pronunciation is moving up, for instance with "frog" now more like "fwok" (and often "fwokkie"). She has gotten the "g" at the end of flag, and perfected the vowel, but still no "l"....I guess that's an improvement?!

*FOOD *
It is probably in the course of eating that I most often think to myself, "Yep, she is adopted." Although Meredith does like (and say quite well) cake, chocolate, candy, and pie, these are not her very favorite foods. Her favorite foods -- the ones we bribe her with to get her to eat her meat or other main dish -- are: peas, carrots, lettuce (yes, lettuce, no dressing), green beans, broccoli, cucumbers, corn, raw onions (yes, raw), grapes, and mandarin oranges. The "will not eat" list is short, but includes mashed potatoes. WHAT?!?!? She is truly a mystery. I like mashed potatoes so much that I said so in my sleep once (just ask Rob).

* THE STRAY "F" *
For whatever reason, when Meredith started pronouncing words ending in "p" she liked to turn it into a "pf". At least a few of these are still lingering...when she hears an alarm clock, she says "beepf!", when she wants a sip of our drink she says "popf!", and when she wants her favorite fresh fruit she says "grapef!".

* BOOTS *
Someone from church passed down some amazing fashion-statement boots that Meredith enjoys. I have a pair of boots as well, and when I put them on yesterday, Meredith looked at her own sneakered feet and said "Off! Mayadith! Boots!" so we had to go put them on. I'll be sure to take a pic next time she wears them.

Well, I could write more but I'm out of time....so until later, thanks for reading.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Costumes!

You may remember Meredith's cow costume from last year. Since I can't resist, here's a reminder of how cute (and little!) she was last year at this time:

Every so often she sees that cow costume in her closet and wants to put it on. It doesn't fit quite as well now...


What should Meredith be this year? Well, we got a package in the mail from my parents about a month ago with two costumes they had picked up at garage sales, in case they might fit Meredith. They are both adorable!




It is roasting down here in Florida, so the costumes are a little hot, but we're continuing to hope for a cool evening tomorrow as we take Meredith for her first brief trick-or-treating outing. Not sure which one she'll wear yet, though the Froggie is my favorite!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

an addendum to the "Stop" entry

I learned today from Meredith's teacher that they had NOT discussed that the stop sign was the shape of an octagon at school (she figured it was too advanced for these little guys). That means that Meredith either learned it from a puzzle she has with different shapes that we have done with her, OR more likely, from watching this clip with me probably 3-4 times because I LOVE it so much....

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"Stop!"

This week is "safety awareness" week at Meredith's preschool. She came home yesterday with a sticker on her shirt shaped like a little silver sheriff's badge that said "Seat Belt Patrol", along with something she painted that had a picture of a policeman and said "Obey the Law!". But most importantly, she brought home an "ah-gun".

Come again?

You know, an "ah-gun." She eagerly pointed to a little red stop sign that she made out of construction paper (with sparkles around the edge), mounted on a paper towel roll, and repeated it: "ah-gun".

I asked "What do you want to do again?" -- though she usually says "a-gin" for "again" I thought maybe I just heard her wrong. We had been playing some games with the sign, so maybe she wanted to do something again? The "stop" and "go" game had been legitimately fun, I have to admit....she would hold up the sign and yell " 'TOP! " and we'd have to stop until she said "Go!" again. But we weren't playing a game right then, so something wasn't right.

"Ah-gun" -- her little hand pointed at the stop sign.

I tried my usual maneuvering...."Yeah, that's a stop sign. What does it say? S - T - O - P. Stop! Is that a stop sign?"

"Ah-gun."

Then, once again, Mommy came through for the win.....

"Are you saying that it is an OCTAGON?"

"YEAH!! Ah-gun!!!"

We have a child genius on our hands, folks. Luckily, when she woke up this morning and the first word out of her mouth was "ah-gun" we knew what she wanted.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Exciting news!

We have some exciting news that we want to shout from the mountaintops, but for now, to speed things up, a blog post will have to do!

Over the last year or so, we have been looking into our options for adopting a second child, this time adopting an infant domestically. We have had an application registered with an adoption agency since January and have also been connected with an attorney who specializes in adoption cases. The attorney provides case-by-case information to a large pool of potential adoptive parents (via email) each time he has a new case in which a pregnant woman would like to make an adoption plan. We have applied for cases with him in the past (even before we got Meredith) but obviously nothing ever came of it.

So I'll cut to the chase. Last Thursday we sent an application for a new case. This Monday, the attorney called us to say we were the top choice of the couple who want to place their child. Yesterday (two days later) we had the opportunity to meet with the birthparents to make sure that they were comfortable with choosing us, and that we were comfortable moving forward with an adoption plan. Praise God, we had a really good meeting with them and all four of us left with confidence that this was going to work out really well. Which means.....

*** We would like to announce the anticipated arrival of a new baby into our family, coming in late March 2010!! ***

That's the important part of this post! You can stop reading now if you're busy, or if you're satisfied with that info and not desperate for details. Now if you've got some time on your hands to read more details, we know people have lots of questions for us so we're trying to give you some info to go on.

MORE DETAILS.....

Below is some information, and you can feel free to ask us other questions too, though sometimes the answers will be things that we can't or won't share. Our philosophy is that our child should be the first to get (and choose whether to share) substantial information about his/her birth parents and their situation, so (as with Meredith) we are respecting both the parents' privacy and our child's life story by limiting the info we share with everyone else.

That said, here are some things you might be interested in:


BACKGROUND OF THE BABY

A few facts:

* due date is estimated at March 25, 2010
* the baby will be almost 3 years younger than Meredith (who'll turn 3 in June)
* the birth will be in Jacksonville, Florida (about 90 minutes from us); we will bring him or her home from the hospital
* the birthmother is in her late 30s, and has given birth before (full-term, healthy birthweight)
* both birthparents have provided detailed background info and family medical history for us and our child to have access to
* as of now, we are all planning to be surprised about the gender of the baby at the birth!

We are so thankful that we will be able to tell this child several things about both of his/her birthparents. We will be able to tell him or her that even though they were at a rough place in life, they were loving and committed to each other (they are in fact married - unusual but not unheard of for people placing a child). We will be able to tell him or her that they made an adoption plan early in the pregnancy because they were sure that this would be the best way for their child to have his/her needs met in a healthy family setting, and they wanted that family to be involved right away. We will be able to say that they chose us among several other families, based on a questionnaire about our family and our values, and that they were excited that this child would have a big sister! We will be able to tell our child what their birthparents look like, what they like to do, and a bit of what their personalities are like. It is such a special gift to say we will be able to tell our child about both birthmother and birthfather - this is often rare in adoption situations. Someday, we will be able to tell our child a bit about the situation their birthparents were in at the time of placement, and why it made sense for them to choose adoption. (If you are wondering this too, you'll need to trust that there are good reasons for us to choose gracious understanding over judgement and skepticism for these people, whom we have already come to love and respect.)

THE PROCESS BEFORE THE BIRTH

We will have contact with the birthparents through the attorney's office, and I will likely have the opportunity to join the birthmother on a couple of her routine doctor visits, hopefully when there is an ultrasound. I was afraid she'd feel awkward, or like I was "checking up" on her if I came along, but she helped me get more excited about this because she wants me to get a chance to experience news about the baby in real time, alongside her. She is a really sweet and thoughtful person; though in many ways she's very practical and stoic (and I can relate to that), I could recognize how she was starting to get excited for me as a first-timer in this stuff. It makes such a difference to think that we could enjoy these appointments together, so I am now looking forward to them! Right now we don't anticipate any other meetings, until we're all there at the hospital in late March (where I may be in the room for the birth....that's still to be determined. Those who know my reaction to even a commercial for any medical drama on TV know why I'm nervous!).

Other than doctor visits and the birth, the attorney handles the day-to-day issues of making sure the birthmother has what she needs during these next 6 months, which will include both physical needs and opportunities to be counseled through the process and make sure it is a healthy adoption for her. The attorney will communicate with us regarding any updates. His reputation is particularly strong for treating birthmothers well, which we think is incredibly important. This reputation was confirmed with the director of the crisis pregnancy center that has been involved in the case so far (she also attended our meeting yesterday, which was at the center) -- she specifically said that she likes it when women choose to work with this attorney because he really recognizes and appreciates their situations and makes sure they are never taken advantage of. With the horror stories out there of women who feel their babies were taken from them by pressure from attorneys, agencies, or crisis pregnancy centers, this healthy situation we are in is something we value very highly.


COMMITMENT/FINALIZATION ISSUES

The way that the adoption process works in Florida, the birthmother cannot legally consent to our adoption until after the baby is born (the paperwork is generally signed at the hospital a day or two after birth, but then is legally binding at that point unless she could prove fraud or duress). In other words, we are part of an adoption plan right now that we have every reason to expect will move to completion, but it is legally possible for the mother to change her mind at any time. We think it's fair and just for her to maintain that right, but she has also made clear that she has absolutely no intention of exercising it. The support of her husband and extended family helps solidify this plan.

There are two ways we could proceed from here.

We could be cautious, recognize the worst-case-scenario, and not really plan for the baby to be ours until he or she is in our arms in late March. This in some ways feels like a natural, protective response to the risk we are taking. It creates at least an illusion that we wouldn't be so heartbroken if it didn't work out, since we weren't "setting ourselves up" for it.

But we have decided not to take that approach. Between the judgement of the attorney (who has lots of experience, as well as being a Christian and an adoptive parent himself) and our own judgement in terms of meeting with the birthparents yesterday, the odds of a failed adoption look low. I liken it to the risks of things like health problems or even miscarriage: they are always a risk, but you cannot live in the shadow of what might happen...you plan for a healthy baby and then change course if you have to, with God's strength. Similarly, we are planning for this baby to be ours, and if the unthinkable happens and he or she does not become ours, we will surely be heartbroken and depend on God to sustain through that difficult time. But we are not going to live in anxiety for the next six months anticipating this -- instead, we are going to plan for things to move ahead as anticipated. If you find it hard not to worry on our behalf, we'd love for you to pray instead!

LIFE WITH BABY

It is gonna be a wild ride - but probably not the adoption part, just the baby part (ack! a newborn! exciting but terrifying!). But as far as the adoption goes....after the child is placed with us (at the hospital) the adoption goes through various legal finalization processes over the following months that should be straightforward. Our ongoing agreement with the birthparents is to provide quarterly updates/photos for them to enjoy, for as long as they would like to receive them. Having met some birthmothers before (via a really interesting meeting organized by our adoptive families support group) we know that these can provide just the assurance that is needed that their child is thriving and safe in the world. I believe these will be sent through the attorney's office. It seems like this is becoming a sort of standard plan for a "semi-open" adoption. A more open arrangement would involve continuing in-person contact, while a confidential arrangement would break all ties completely. The nature of our agreement in this area is not in terms of a legal obligation, but rather one in which we will be committed to whatever agreement we make on a personal level. These birthparents are entrusting us with their precious child, and we will honor any and every promise we make to them.

Finally, most importantly, you probably want to know what Meredith thinks about all of this (this is her blog after all). The question, "Would you like us to have a baby come and live in our house?", was met with a matter-of-fact, "No."

Oh well! We've got 6 months to convince her, and if she's not convinced, she will just be stuck!

We are so grateful for all of you. Thanks for reading, and for your support and prayers in the coming months.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The croooose!

For my Dad's 60th birthday (which is actually next week) we surprised him with his favorite kind of vacation - a cruise! We'd gone on a cruise together once before and had a great time. Mom successfully kept the secret from him for months! He thought they were just coming down to visit. We also invited Rob's parents, who came with us on the other cruise, and they gladly accepted -- and so they surprised BOTH my parents by their arrival at the airport at the same time! So the 7 of us headed off for 4 days together on a big ship headed to the Bahamas :)

There are tons of pictures from the trip, so I'll just post a bunch here with some short headings.

The airport!


The ship: Carnival Sensation


This is our first meal after boarding the ship (lunch). We ate our lunches in this cafeteria-style area and then had nice fancy dinners every evening.

We got off to a good start on the first day of the cruise, as I won a little Carnival medallion and an art print (which I don't really like, but oh well). It was a trivia question: What language failed by ONE vote to become the national language of the U.S. ? Well, I don't know if it was Frau Hewitt who taught me this or someone else, but I was pretty sure it was German. Two other people jumped in ahead of me, but both of them were wrong. The first one was amazing....the (British) emcee of the trivia game repeated the question to her and she said "Britain...I mean like British, whatever they speak there...." It was like watching Jay Leno go Jaywalking in real life. So he explained to her that the language he was currently speaking was in fact English. The second lady guessed French. So I got the prize! Very exciting, eh?

Here is a nice photo that Rob's dad took of sunrise on the first day of the trip:


Enjoying Freeport -- several of us got off the ship and headed to the beach. Beautiful!


Back on the ship, we were always greeted with a new towel animal when we returned to our room. This day it was a walrus - the room steward had even put Rob's sunglasses on it.

Formal dinner night was the perfect night to have them bring my Dad a little birthday cake!


Thanks to our waiter, Pablo, for taking this shot for us.


Meredith was amazingly well-behaved at our sit-down dinners.


Here comes her lovely meal! (There was a lot more on another plate, as well as some fruit, but we were trying to keep it manageable to get started.)

Later in the evening on formal night, Dad and I sang in the Karaoke lounge. Ok, fine, so we sang EVERY night in the Karaoke lounge. But we looked the coolest on formal night :) Dad became a minor celebrity, with his own groups of fans who would recognize him during the day on the ship!


Here is a view of Nassau from the ship. We didn't spend much time on land because it was very hot and humid.


We discovered one great thing about being docked at a destination: many people from the ship are gone, leaving us with the full run of the place! The ship had a splash park, waterslides, and a mini golf course on the very top. It was perfect for our little girl!




The grown-ups tried out the waterslides too! Here are Rob's parents.


We went mini-golfing twice (in case you notice Meredith switching outfits...).



When she got close to the hole, Meredith decided it was most efficient to just pick up the ball and put it in.


The last dinner -- Meredith went all out, with a patch that matched her outfit! Everyone oohed and aahed over her as we walked by. The waiters had made her a little boot out of a napkin, which we used to bring one of her cookies back to our room after dinner.

Here's what Meredith sometimes does now when you ask her to smile. Apparently, from this picture, she learned it from me.




We had such a special and memorable time with our family. It's not the kind of thing we can do often, but we hope we'll have another chance someday to cruise again with everyone.

Friday, September 4, 2009

That pesky "R"

A couple of fun stories....

Meredith has always been a fan of picking up little rocks out of our landscaping. Quite a while ago, when she was just starting to walk on her own, we would go outside for a walk and she would pick up a rock and carry it in one hand for the whole walk (while she held my hand with her other one). A couple months ago she started saying the word "walk," which was really helpful if I was carrying her around somewhere and she wanted to get down and walk. She said "walk" yesterday when we were coming back inside after being in the car. Seemed like a strange time to say she wanted to walk (she was already walking)....then I turned around and watched her pick up two rocks from the landscaping. Then she looked at me and said "Walk." Aha...she was not saying walk. She was saying "rock." They just sound identical :)

Yesterday we were at Walgreens and Meredith was pointing out a bunch of helium balloons to me. Usually she would say "boomboom" -- that's always been her word for "balloon." Yesterday, she was pointing and saying "hot." I mentioned in an earlier post that she knows the meaning of the word "hot." Knowing this, I tried to figure out what was "hot" about the balloons. We had never talked about hot air balloons, so that wasn't it. So we had the usual type of conversation:

Meredith: "Hot!"
Mommy: "Do you see balloons?"
Meredith: "Hot!"
Mommy: "Honey, what is hot? I see balloons. Do you see balloons?"
Meredith: "Hot!"

At this point Meredith was pointing to a specific balloon. I looked up at it. Did it have a picture of a fire or a sun on it? Was there something that reminded her of heat? No. It was a heart-shaped balloon. Heart. Take out the "R" and you've got something like "hot"! So I said "Oh! Is that balloon shaped like a heart?" This was, as usual, followed by the excited happy sound of a little girl who had once again, with great persistence, made herself understood. What a trooper.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cookies

Today Meredith was having a snack - a little bowl of crackers - and some milk. I remembered that we had some cookies on the counter that needed to get eaten up, and I figured I'd give her a treat.

Me: "Do you want a cookie?"
Meredith: "Cooo-kie!" (and a big nod)

So I got her a cookie and we sat here eating our cookies together (you figured that I got one too, right?). I asked her to take some drinks of milk, which she did sometimes (other times, it was the polite "no"). At one point, she grabbed one of her crackers with her free hand and put it in her mouth. I think she must have just been spacing out and forgetting there was a cookie in one hand already....the reason I think this is that she put the cracker in her mouth and then immediately removed it and handed it to me, still whole. Apparently when you pit crackers against cookies, crackers do not win. Well, who didn't know that? But it's good to know she figured it out too.

After the cracker mistake, she pointed to the bowl of crackers....

Meredith: "Coooo-kie!"
Me: "You have a cookie in your hand. Those are crackers."
Meredith: (continuing to point at the bowl) "Cooo-kie!"
Me: "Cracker"
Meredith: (pointing inside the bowl) "Coooo-kie".

Would you believe it? I had served her crackers in a Sesame Street bowl that had Cookie Monster on the bottom of it (you can only see him when you are running low on food in it). When I realized this I said "Oh! Cookie MONSTER!". She made a very happy sound indicating that I had finally understood what she was telling me, and then kissed Cookie Monster through the remaining crackers.

Those crackers are still there, but the cookie....well, that's long gone.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

That Hair

Although Meredith's glasses are always the first thing mentioned by anyone commenting on her exceptional cuteness, her hair is a close second. I remember thinking that Meredith had a decent amount of hair when we got her....here's what it looked like:


Since we came home just over a year ago, her hair has developed a life of its own. Luckily, it is quite fun to try to tame it (though our babysitter Jenee is better at it than I am). Here's a recent photo that shows Meredith's hair in its natural state. (We have only ever cut her bangs.)

And here are some of her many amazing styles! Please note that no styling products have been used, so the wildness and curls are all her own!

1) The Classic Single Pony

This sometimes goes on the side (as below) and sometimes in the middle. It often depends on how much Meredith wiggles as I try to get it centered. (Note that the thing on the right side is something in the background - she doesn't have a spike coming out of her head!)


2) The Post-Pony "Big Hair" Look

Yep, it's a lot of hair.

3) The Double Pony

Only Jenee has ever succeeded at this masterpiece. The most I've done is a little one on each side, with the back part still down.


4) The Multi-Pony Extravaganza

I was quite excited to pull this one off. By the end of the day it starts falling apart, but it looks adorable while it's in!


5) The Post-Sweaty-Nap Curly Head

When Meredith's hair is dry, she has some wispy curls at the back. When it is wet....


I hope Meredith will love growing up with such a wonderful head of hair!

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Miracle of Communication

It is fascinating to begin to know what Meredith is thinking about. She has over 50 understandable words now and seems to know what most of them mean even in different contexts.

For instance, we taught her that the oven is "hot" and the car is "hot" (always dangerous to touch the outside of the car here during a FL summer!). The other day I warmed up some food for her, and when she touched it she said "hot." What a delight to realize that she knows what the word actually means!

I like to think Meredith spoke her first sentence yesterday, though Rob says it doesn't quite count. What do you think? Here's the scenario:

***

We were sitting in the dining room for breakfast, where Meredith's high-chair faces the window, which has blinds. She often likes to look at vehicles going by in the mornings.

Meredith: "Oh-bul!"
(this, of course, means "open".....she says "apple" very similarly but the context usually helps us know which one she's talking about!)

Mommy: "What do you want opened?"

Meredith: "Window!"
(pronunciation clear as day, taught by her Oma a couple weeks ago)

***

So I say - it had a verb and a noun, so it's a sentence, albeit with a Mommy interruption :)

Meredith's most commonly used word, like many other children, seems to be "no." However, it is only sometimes a whiny or obstinate "no"....it's more often very matter-of-fact:
Do you want more chicken? "No".
Do you want more noodles? "No".
Do you want a drink? "No".
Do you want some fruit? "Mmmmm!!!!"
Can you say 'yeah'? "Yeah!".

Until she has a clear "s" sound, we are going with "yeah" or a nod or "OK", which she is beginning to use without prompting. What a big girl!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

better late than never - Easter pics!

I had promised long ago to post Easter pictures. I am finally organized enough to do it!

Most of these are from our church's Easter Egg Hunt on the Saturday before Easter. At the end I'll post her photos on actual Easter in her Easter dress :)

We were very blessed that the church decided to divide the Easter Egg Hunt into three age groups this year instead of just two, so Meredith's age group (I think it was 0-2!) had an area of the grass that was covered with eggs in the wide open so everyone would find some :) Here she is, hard at work!





I should explain why she has an Easter bag instead of a basket. She actually does own an Easter basket. I got it at an after-Easter sale in spring 2006 (yes, 2006) because we thought we'd be traveling that summer for the adoption. Little did we know we'd have to wait for two more years! I was so excited to finally be using that Easter basket this year. So why doesn't she have it? Well, between getting the diaper bag packed up and figuring out how we could help out at the event itself, it was forgotten! Just goes to show that the child is more important than the stuff :) Fortunately, we had her personalized toy bag with us (thanks to the Rushes for that!) so we emptied it out and used it for eggs. Worked great!

Here's Meredith with her little friend Lily. They have been hanging out together a few times a week for quite a while now -- her family is in our small group Bible study, and Meredith and Lily play together there as well as at church and music class. They are just getting to the point of playing together rather than alongside each other - it is SO cute!


You may recall that Meredith was the big winner at the Fall Festival Diaper Derby last October. Well, her winning streak came to a screeching halt at the Easter Egg Hunt's "Egg on the Spoon" race. But she was so cute...totally understood what she was supposed to do and gave it a good effort!

The starting line...


Look at that speed! Well, OK, it was just the wind blowing....but so far, so good!


Looking good....er....wait. Where's the egg?


A careful Meredith looks for the egg.

Back in business! Although notice that the other kids are already done with the race and moving on....
(The careful observer will notice that the egg appeared to move - that's because I "spliced" together footage from two rounds of races -- the first one involved a failure of some kids to follow directions related to holding the egg with their free hand! Both rounds went about the same way for little Meredith though).

It was certainly a fun day and we look forward to next year!

Meredith wore a beautiful dress for Easter (thanks to the Omlis!) and even willingly kept her hat on for quite a while. What a cutie!



In Sunday School that week, Meredith learned that Jesus is alive. Amen to that! He is alive and has certainly been blessing us!